tour de france 2024: stage 1
by Rémy Rossi
Having chased the maillot jaune and overall GC honors for the past decade, Bardet let his scrupulous instincts and experience launch him to ultimate victory on this year’s opening day. He’s a respected and perceptive character who’s no stranger to the Tour podium, but— until now— he had never been able to claim the leader’s jersey as his own. This time, however, something felt oh so natural seeing him slip on the world’s most famous yellow shirt.
Caven…ish
We had to wait until the end of the stage for the most exciting fireworks, but serious drama still kicked off early with Mark Cavendish falling off the pace almost immediately. Sick on the bike and with his entire Astana-Qazaqstan surrounding him showering him with water, the Manx Missile looked like a mere shadow of his former self.
Sprinters are expected to peel off throughout the day and arrive in the groupetto, but it seemed that Cavendish was in serious trouble of not making the time cut being so far behind before the end of the first climb. The commentators were getting emotional seeing such an icon of the sport visibly suffer so early on, and I was sharing the same sentiment. Simply put, it was tough to watch.
The main culprit behind his ailments seemed to be the heat but the day wasn’t going to cool off anytime soon— Cav was in for one hell of a ride, and not in a good way. Equipped with more experience than maybe anyone else in the field, a dedicated team, and additional day-one stragglers, Cavendish made it to the finish within the time cut. Over the course of the stage, he rode to recovery. He was even surprisingly chipper during his post-race interviews, displaying a bit of his characteristic and well-earned bravado. The sprinter’s dream of achieving the most Tour de France stage wins ever lives on. Phew.
The Four Horsemen
When I mention the “Big Four”, I hope to God that your first thought isn’t the world’s four largest accounting and audit firms. I don’t really feel like writing out their long, it’s-a-mouthful names, but it’s probably worth revealing the ultra-capitalist networks that are running the world from the shadows. They are Deloitte, PricewaterhouseCoopers, Ernst & Young, and KPMG. Seriously, these firms work with nearly every single major company on the planet, auditing more than 80% of all US public companies. Do your research. Watch your back.
You’d be forgiven, however, if you were reminded of Agatha Christie’s Poirot novel of the same name or the quartet of top Allied powers leaders of World War I. The Council of Four was home to our diplomatic boys Georges, David, Vittorio, and Woodrow— I’ll let you guess their respective nationalities. That’s your history lesson for today, but back to the present-day quad squad who are the four Tour de France frontrunners. Our famous foursome of main characters include:
Tadej Pogacar. Jonas Vingegaard. Primoz Roglic. Remco Evenepoel.
If I were a betting man, these would be the safest calls to make a buck. Instead of delivering fortunes to sports betters, though, these four are more likely to produce something far more worthwhile to the rest of us with higher risk aversion: a thrilling 3-week race.
While I sincerely do not wish this year’s edition of the Tour de France to be heralded as the Apocalypse, there are some similarities in the two major events I wouldn’t mind seeing. Combatative tactics. Cutthroat competition. Conquest. Chaos.
This summer’s Tour is slated to be one of the closest and most hard-fought Grand Tours in recent times. Roglic and Vingegaard no longer have to play nice due to the Slovenian’s departure to the Red Bull-Bora-Hansgrohe team. This year also marks Belgian phenom Remco Evenepoel’s first TdF participation, a long-awaited debut and perhaps the most highly anticipated one in decades. Pogacar is the man to beat but still hasn’t returned to overall Tour glory since 2021. How will the first official meeting of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in the 2024 Tour de France shake out? We’ll just have to hold on tight to our rosary beads and see.
It’s also impossible (and less fun) to deny the parallels between this image of four horsemen and four leading cyclists. Each rides their respective steed, identified through its different coloring. In the Book of Revelation, the White, Red, Black, and Pale Horses trot toward the ultimate finale accompanied by their obscure riders. Christianity interprets the Four Horsemen as omens of the Last Judgment, setting a divine end-time upon the world.
In a twisted way, so too are these leading cyclists galloping towards the final judgment on the Tour’s last day in Nice (not Paris this year!). It just so happens the concluding stage is even more defined by “end-time” and race against the most honest of clocks: an individual time trial. Crank down your BOA dials and saddle up for a Tour that’s sure to deliver.
I won’t go to the trouble of trying to match each rider to their horsemen counterpart because they seem like truly nice guys rather than death-bringing harbingers of the apocalypse. But maybe I’ll save that thrilling exercise in my jersey pocket for a boring flat stage later on this Tour. Stay tuned. The end is nigh.
Les Triplettes de Belleville
Our champion of the day, Romain Bardet, has always stood out to me as the archetypal French cyclist. Perhaps Thibaut Pinot better captured the hearts of the Provence and Julian Alaphillipe is more of a showman, but the elegant Bardet has always been a dedicated and successful character. Other than wearing the yellow jersey, Bardet had already checked the boxes of nearly every other Tour de France accomplishment. In the past decade, Bardet had claimed a handful of Tour stage victories, the polka dot jersey, and several top 10 GC finishes, including 2nd overall in 2016 and 3rd in 2017. He’s been a critical piece and an even more efficient engine that has kept alive the dream of returning a Frenchman to the Tour’s top step. Remember that Bernard Hinault’s coronation back in 1985 still marks the most recent French overall win.
Maybe Bardet is the French-est rider for a different reason. It could be the aesthetic appeal of his pale, angular features and the fact that his eyes are positioned sufficiently apart for it to be barely yet still adequately noticeable. You know those people that naturally look a bit cartoonish, but in a good way? Romain Bardet falls into that category for me. Specifically— partly in physical appearance and mostly in spirit— Bardet reminds me of the nameless cyclist of the 2003 French animated film Les Triplettes de Belleville. You know, the quiet, cerebral, quads-the-size-of-a-tree-trunk, and romanticized cyclists of yesteryear. In Stage 1 of this year’s Tour, Romain jumped out from the screen and truly animated the race.
A Winning DSM Duo
Bardet had no chance of snatching victory from the jaws of the fast-approaching peloton if it weren’t for his Dutch teammate Frank van den Broek. Arguably the stronger rider on the day— having been in the original break and pulling off some seriously impressive (and ultimately race-winning) turns in the final kilometers— van den Broek tactfully granted the win to his team leader Bardet. It’s a very classy gesture that makes sense given that it’s Bardet’s last-ever Tour— and there’s no doubt that there are many victories to come for the already-impressive young Dutchman.
To be sure, Bardet earned it too, and contributed immense experience and killer instincts to the winning DSM-Firmenich duo. A 1-2 victory is a storybook ending for any team on the first stage of the Tour and we can all revel in the fairytale result. I think we’ll all sleep a little better tonight knowing a worthy veteran Frenchman climbed the podium’s top step. Amid the world’s ever-growing chaos and confusion, this win just felt right. Breathe.
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